Things I shout while playing any video game ever:
- YOU FUCKING HOE
- YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE SWALLOWED YOU
- I FUCKING (SCREAMS)
- FUCKING BALLS
- OH WHAT THE ACTUAL LIVING FUCK
- YOU CAN SUCK MY SWEATY FUCKING BALLS
- I HATE THIS GAME
- FUCK ME
- FUCK YOU
- WHY AM I FUCKING PLAYING THIS GAME
- I’m so fucKING DONE
- WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
- [PTERODACTYL SCREECH]
have you ever taken your dog to a jumping competition
oh my lord. this is a photo of what success looks like.
>gettin hot and heavy w/ a girl
>she then tells me to talk dirty
>tell her that 10% of the world’s carbon dioxide emissions are stored in dirt
>she’s still turned on and now she knows a little more about mother earth
>copulate and educate
what’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination?
i hate this i hate u
This is what happens when you ask people to draw a map of the USA from memory.
I’ll have what the last person is having.
I had a dream last night that Jesus finally resurrected and when white people found out he wasn’t white they arrested him for 2000 something years of tax evasion
you were named after the two bravest men i know, macklemore macklemore
serving size: 4
all 4 me
note to self: “love yourself” does not mean spend $40 on chinese food when you’re broke
who am i kidding yes it does. never listen to me
an alternate universe where the ONLY form of communication is yodeling
this is so illegal. we’re going to get in so much trouble. you cant just steal all the sand from the beach and replace it with bread crumbs